Mum of two, 7 months in

Has it really been 8 months since I last posted?! I'm not really surprised. Colin was hospitalised the week after that last post, and then so was I! The pregnancy and life in general became a test of endurance after that and little (not so little) Rory Josiah kept us waiting until 11 days after my due date. 

A few hours after Rory was born, just before we got discharged we got our first 'family of four' photo.

So, how has it being, parenting two? Absolutely exhausting! Day to day I'm still feeling like I just tread water but I am getting out every day despite having few opportunities to rest during the day and I still get a hot meal on the table when Colin gets in from work. Most days. We may occasionally eat out! 

The island unit regularly looks like this! An outward demonstration of what my brain feels like! Chaos! 

Anyway, I was right about not being able to give Daniel everything anymore. My time is split. My attention is split and unfortunately that means there are times when one or even both of the boys is crying despite my best efforts. The positives are so heart warming though. When they hug each other! Ah, it's so beautiful! Daniel has already got such a soft spot for his brother and Rory adores Daniel, he's the one who gets the best smiles and who he looks for when he comes into a room. I can already see Daniel being spurred on by Rory, most recently with his attempts to drink from an open cup. This is lovely right now but I just hope it doesn't become difficult for Daniel when he sees how easily Rory does everything. That is something I struggle with, seeing how little effort is required for Rory to master gross motor skills. Daniel needed physio to learn each milestone and took lots of repetition to refine it. Rory looks like he might be about to do something, like sit up, two days later he's nailed it and moved on to rolling or crawling and all with no therapy from us. I now understand the phrase 'they grow up so fast'!

Pulling himself up to stand is the latest skill. He's perfecting crawling backwards too, which is unfortunately the wrong direction so results in lots of tears!

So, I suppose I've just discussed the practical part. Emotionally I'm drained but that could be the lack of sleep since last Easter, the strain of Colin being sick through all of this (he had a record 5 hospital admissions last year) and finding the jump from 1 to 2 more difficult than I'd thought it would be. At the same time though I have this incredible love for two little boys now, my heart has grown and I am filled with the same intense feelings for Rory that I have for Daniel. I've promised myself that I'll write regularly this year-on my blogs and in my journals so may this be the start of a busy year documenting the nurturing of the twiglets!