Screen time

I've been screen free this month. Well, I was screen free for a week. It turns out my husband and I had different ideas about what we'd agreed to. I thought it was no social media, no internet usage and no games on the iPhone or iPad (I'm a big fan of playing Settlers or doing sporcle quizzes when nursing). We had already agreed that to find out a piece of information, the example discussed was a restaurant telephone number, you could google it rather than trying to locate yellow pages etc. Then I discovered half way through the first week that my husband thought BBC news was ok, and he wanted special dispensation to go on Twitter and read up on a legal trial he's been following in the U.S. I continued to be screen free aside from texts and emails and found I was sorting photos and reading books more, particularly when feeding Rory. 

But then I had to find out some pieces of information (time and location of a meeting I'd to go to was only on Facebook), opening times for a gym I was taking the boys to, and I started to notice I was picking my phone up more. I was reading emails, then clicking through to websites if I wanted to see the advertised offers and realised I was starting to lose control of this month's  project. I also realised Pinterest didn't  fall into a banned category and now I finally get the people who say it's an addition! I do have considerably more ideas for our bedroom redecoration though. So I decided to go back to my understanding of the original boundaries. No browsing the internet even if it was a project like doing holiday research. I think my husband is using the wider definitions but it's amazing what it has lead me to do:

- I went to a fabric store to get samples of material I'm considering for curtains for our bedroom;

- I wandered around a few furniture shops to look for a slim TV unit to fit in a recess. I can't find one! Perils of having a small TV in this 50" world we live in;

- in the afternoon after nap time we went to IKEA and went for a walk and got an icecream. Normally in the afternoons I tend to sit on my phone for a while while the boys play so I can have a mental break;

- I went to a few local shops to try and source furniture for Daniel's dolls house. (unfortunately one only did pink furniture and the other had two wildly overpriced sets that I couldn't justify buying)

I also noticed I have been spending better quality time playing with the boys as I'm not compulsively checking Twitter or googling non-urgent queries such as 'how long to cook a pork chop?' or 'when do baby's top teeth come in?'. 

I'm writing this as I feed Rory, the one time I've really struggled not to use my phone. He feeds most evenings for about 1.5 hours and I'm stuck with little to do if I'm trying to keep light levels low as I can't use my kindle or read a book. There definitely is a time and place for idle browsing but I can already see how this month is helping me find the balance, result! 

Mum of two, 7 months in

Has it really been 8 months since I last posted?! I'm not really surprised. Colin was hospitalised the week after that last post, and then so was I! The pregnancy and life in general became a test of endurance after that and little (not so little) Rory Josiah kept us waiting until 11 days after my due date. 

A few hours after Rory was born, just before we got discharged we got our first 'family of four' photo.

So, how has it being, parenting two? Absolutely exhausting! Day to day I'm still feeling like I just tread water but I am getting out every day despite having few opportunities to rest during the day and I still get a hot meal on the table when Colin gets in from work. Most days. We may occasionally eat out! 

The island unit regularly looks like this! An outward demonstration of what my brain feels like! Chaos! 

Anyway, I was right about not being able to give Daniel everything anymore. My time is split. My attention is split and unfortunately that means there are times when one or even both of the boys is crying despite my best efforts. The positives are so heart warming though. When they hug each other! Ah, it's so beautiful! Daniel has already got such a soft spot for his brother and Rory adores Daniel, he's the one who gets the best smiles and who he looks for when he comes into a room. I can already see Daniel being spurred on by Rory, most recently with his attempts to drink from an open cup. This is lovely right now but I just hope it doesn't become difficult for Daniel when he sees how easily Rory does everything. That is something I struggle with, seeing how little effort is required for Rory to master gross motor skills. Daniel needed physio to learn each milestone and took lots of repetition to refine it. Rory looks like he might be about to do something, like sit up, two days later he's nailed it and moved on to rolling or crawling and all with no therapy from us. I now understand the phrase 'they grow up so fast'!

Pulling himself up to stand is the latest skill. He's perfecting crawling backwards too, which is unfortunately the wrong direction so results in lots of tears!

So, I suppose I've just discussed the practical part. Emotionally I'm drained but that could be the lack of sleep since last Easter, the strain of Colin being sick through all of this (he had a record 5 hospital admissions last year) and finding the jump from 1 to 2 more difficult than I'd thought it would be. At the same time though I have this incredible love for two little boys now, my heart has grown and I am filled with the same intense feelings for Rory that I have for Daniel. I've promised myself that I'll write regularly this year-on my blogs and in my journals so may this be the start of a busy year documenting the nurturing of the twiglets!